why bi/pan lesbians are invalid
made by @destihell
why is it harmful?
bi/pan lesbianism is harmful for many reasons, but the most specific is that it invalidates lesbian identities. lesbians are not attracted to men, and implying they are gives way to the idea that lesbians are "fixable" and "just haven't met the right guy yet". it also supports the harmful stereotype that all sapphics are lesbians, and bisexual and pansexual women just haven't "chosen a side yet".
but lesbian is a blanket word!
while the term lesbian used to be a blanket word for women who loved women, that is not what the label means anymore. a lesbian by definition considered homosexual, meaning they only like the same gender. by calling yourself a bisexual/pansexual lesbian, you're calling yourself a bisexual/pansexual homosexual, and that makes no sense. as an additional point, the sapphic community has fought for a long time to differentiate bisexuals/pansexuals from lesbians. by adding the two labels together, you make it seem like there's no difference between bisexuals/pansexuals and lesbians.
but lesbians won't include non-lesbians!
lesbians are the only people in the lgbt community who are not attracted to men (other than asexual aromantic people, who have no attraction to anyone). this means that certain discussions and groups are made for only lesbians, and that's okay! bisexuals and pansexuals have the right to have groups and discussions to themselves as well! just because we do not always include you in certain things does not mean we are against you or your community. certain things just only apply to lesbians sometimes.
lesbians are terfs!
some bi/pan lesbians use the term bi/pan lesbian, because they are attracted to nonbinary people, and thus has come the misunderstanding that lesbians are terfs. however, this isn't true! lesbians can be attracted to nonbinary people, and they are still lesbians, because nonbinary people are not men! lesbian attraction covers nonbinary people, so if that's the only reason you're using the label bi/pan lesbian, you don't need to!
most lesbians are biphobic!
some people claim that lesbians only use the word lesbian to degrade bisexual/pansexual women and pretend like they're better than them. this is completely false! myself, and other lesbians don't use the word lesbian as a way to act better than other sapphics, it's just the word that describes us. we use the word lesbian a lot, because for a lot of people, lesbian is treated like a dirty word, and it isn't! lesbian is not a word we use to try and put others down, it's just simply who we are.
i'm not comfortable with the label bisexual/pansexual
it's perfectly okay to not want to label as bi or pan! not everyone likes labeling themselves, whether it be because they're still trying to understand their sexuality, or you simply don't enjoy having a label that makes you feel boxed into an identity. however, if you are especially unsure of your identity, you definitely should not be identifying as something as strict as lesbian. lesbians do not like men, so if you are unsure about whether you like men, but you know you like women, a great label to use is sapphic. it's an umbrella term for all wlw, and you can still be attracted to men and be sapphic!